So how do I do this again?

So how does this work? I just type stuff in this box and then when I click "Publish Post" it shows up on the internet? Are you sure? Ok, I guess I'll give it a try and hopefully it'll all come back to me.

It's been 9 months since I've written a post and for good reason. I think using the label "Poker Blogger" is a misnomer for me. When I write, I'm not going to give you any groundbreaking analysis about how to play KJ or 44 or anything like that. And a lot of times its just to toot my own horn, because frankly its more fun to talk about your successes than your failures. You guys don't want to come here just to hear me bitch about a bad beat or talk about how bad someone else played. So I see myself more as just a guy that plays an occasional blogger tournament, hangs around BDR, and just happens to have a blog collecting dust in its corner of the web. So I guess I'll do what I do best, talk about my good night last night.

I had a hankering for some poker last night and wanted to play the Mookie so I booted up Full Tilt and noticed the first ten MSOP events were listed in the Series tab and they were running satellites. Strangely, they had NL Holdem satellites going for the Omaha H/L tournament. Sat down at one of those for $4.40 and also entered a 135-man $4.40 Rush tournaments. Cruised through satellite and got my seat in that one the cheap way. I was a little disappointed with my finish in the Rush tournament. I was in the top 15% in chips the whole way after winning a 3-way all-in with KK against KJ and TT. I was 3rd in chips with 17 left and lost a dumb hand to really hurt myself and just managed to mincash.

Second set of tournaments was the Mookie and Dookie as well as a $3 6-max tournament that had 622 runners. Those cheap tournaments were the ones I had run crazy good in in October and November last year when I won a ton of money. In the Mookie and the 6-max, I was running good and had this feeling again like last year where I felt like I was on cruise control, that everything was going easy. I was getting my all-ins in good too, with pairs over pairs or like AJ vs AT and stuff like that. I made one bad all-in call with AQ vs KK, but Q on the flop and another on the turn and I knocked the guy out (can't remember who it was).

I just kept going an hour at a time, kept hoping to make it to the next break. I crapped out of the Dookie with some poor play and very little focus on that one. The other two tournaments were a little more important. I managed to make the final table of the Mookie and be in the final 3 tables of the 6-max and just trying to keep my head on straight.

With 8 players left in the Mookie and about 8 BBs, I openshoved with AJ. OSU, who had run like God all night, thought forever and finally called with AT, and I was happy. KQx on the flop. Jack on the turn, and I couldn't spike a Ten for a chop, and I was out in 8th.

I was stunned, but I had to get that out of my head because I was in the top 3 with 3 tables left in the 6-max. I knocked out a couple of big stacks in back to back hands where I flopped sets with TT and 77 on Ace high flops and we got it all-in right then. I flopped sets like crazy too last night, I can't remember the last time I made so many sets, if ever. I made the final table in second with about 300k in chips and 4k/8k blinds, guaranteed $65. The short stack got knocked out early and 5th place was $102.

I got Kings and the short stack moved into me and reshoved to isolate. Got no callers and he had Queens and I thought I was golden. Flop was 567, turn 4, and of course the river was the 3 for a chop. That pot would have taken me up to 500k, still in second but well ahead of the other two. Then my computer crapped out on me and I had to restart. When I finally managed to get it back up and running, I was down to 120k and eventually pushed my last 99k with AKc. Some punk kid that had been talking shit called time, typed "slowroll..." into the chatbox, and called at the end of his time bank with Aces. I was out in 5th for $102. That one pissed me off more than the Mookie loss, that he had the gall to slowroll.

I've played now 4 BBT tournaments, which is a good percentage considering I wasn't invited to the Sunday tourneys. I have other thoughts on that, but I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. Maybe a Mookie final table will get me in the last one on Sunday, maybe not. Everyone have a good day, I'm out.

Losing Control

This is why I don't play poker anymore.

I take a beat, and I get mad and go crazy. I get pissed at the other players, my own luck, just pissed off at the world. I lose control of my emotions, my moves, everything when I get frustrated like this.

I tried playing some today, after pushing myself away from the game for 5 or 6 weeks. I just wanted to relax and enjoy myself and have a good time. And I did for a while. I played some 7-Game which was really fun, I like that Full Tilt added that to the rotation and can't wait to watch some of the really big games go. I played a couple of HU SNGs and went 1-1. I played the Daily Dollar and was cruising until I took a nasty beat. It's those beats that make me so mad sometimes, because I can't control them. Guy hits a 2-outer on the river and I'm furious, and I never used to be that way.

Every beat I took today, I kept saying to myself, "This is why I don't play poker anymore." I was so burnt out, after playing 40-some BBT events and 8 miniFTOPS events and 20-some MSOP events, I just couldn't take it anymore. I knew the burnout was coming, I could feel it coming at the end of MSOP. Every little beat felt like I was talking a hammer to the head, just pounding away. 4 months of tournaments, and grinding out points and shit, just wore me out. I spread myself too thin.

It has affected me in every part of my life. June was my last month in the house at Mason City, and I never left the house. I was either playing poker, or drinking, or sleeping. I was just a robot. I rarely went out in the evenings, although I'm not really much of a bar guy anyway. It was just "wake up, start playing poker, eat occasionally (usually ordered in), go to bed". That was my life for the June.

And every little beat made it harder and harder to keep it going. Every time I would get increasingly more pissed, to the point that my mouse took a pretty good beating (still works great amazingly). I just wanted to punch a wall. I felt like I was playing as good as I could, and it wasn't good enough. I always think about poker and golf together just because those are the two sports that I'm interested in and decent at. If I'm out playing golf, and I get a bad bounce or something, I can't let that stuff go either. So frustrating. The difference is that on the golf course, I haven't yet felt like I've played a whole round as well as I can. But that's something for another post maybe.

Everything I can control, I make sure I do. If I'm given a project, I'm all over it, and I'll go at it hard cause it's my thing. This is my project and I'm gonna get it done how I think it should be done. But with poker I felt like I couldn't control anything. Why bother if I feel like I'm leaving it all up to luck? I can console myself with the fact that I got all the money in good, but it doesn't matter if I don't get any of it back.

Nowadays, I'm just down all the time. I just don't care about anything any more, except my golf. I feel like I'm stuck in the mud, like I can't go anywhere or do anything. I haven't cared less about everything ever. I just don't even want to get out of bed in the morning; I want to stay up so late at nights so the morning doesn't come. I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore, what my identity is. I'm supposed to go back to school in a couple weeks to get my 4-year degree in Sports Administration, but I don't really care.

Something's gotta change, but I don't know what or how. I want to get back to playing poker, but I just can't if its gonna be the same way it has been. I love watching it or reading about it, but I don't think I can play for a while. Hopefully, I'll be back, I haven't even bothered withdrawing from FT (not exactly a huge balance, but its nice to have a little). We'll just see how it goes. I just don't know anymore.

miniFTOPS

Alright people, its time for the miniFTOPS. I will be playing in the following events if anyone is interested in buying pieces of my action.

#1 - May 6 - $22 NLH (6-max)
#5 - May 8 - $22 Stud8
#11 - May 11 - $22 PLO8
#14 - May 12 - $55 HEROS
#16 - May 13 - $22 PLHA
#24 - May 17 - $13 NLH (KOs)

Those are the events I'm for sure playing, the ones I'm already bought into. There are two other events I may play in, but I won't know for sure until probably the day of: #2 - May 7 - $26 PLO (KOs) and #21 - May 15 - $22 Mixed Holdem (6-max). I'm leaning toward playing them but those are both gonna be busy days for me anyway, so I might not be able to.

5% of the for sure six is $7.80. If you want either of the other two, those are $1.30 and $1.10 respectively, and if I'll make my decision on them the day of. If you pay for them and I don't play you'll just get your money back. So there's the numbers. FT is preferable, but Stars is fine too.

I've been playing pretty well lately, especially in NLH, having won a couple tournaments and taken 5th in a $280 tourney for $1500 last Saturday. (I'm working on that writeup currently, more time now that I've graduated.) I want to push myself and was initially looking at playing 12 or 13 events but this is what I trimmed my schedule down to. I know I put in some good showings if I just focus, play tight and aggressive, and not make bonehead mistakes.

I'm willing to sell 40% of myself to whoever is willing to buy or swap (15% already gone). Kitchen's open.

Live-Blog SCOOP 12-L: $22 Stud8

Welcome everyone. I figured this is a good way to get a post out there. I've already played two of the SCOOP events, the PLO8 and the HU NLH. I made it to the first break in the PLO8 but not much after, and got busted out in the first round of the headsup, so it hasn't been real good so far. So this is my third chance at a good performance, with the LO8 coming up later in the week.

I'm going to be focusing on watching people's cards before I make decisions. I have a bad habit of not paying any attention and drawing to outs that don't exist. I think I can put in a good performance here today.

3:39 - Just getting started, 5k stacks and starting at 40/80/8 and 15 minute levels, there's gonna be plenty of play early. I've lost a little bit now, missing a couple nice combo draws.

4:01 - Level is now 60/120/12 and I make a nice 7 lock low against two high boards and pump it full of money. Take half of a nice 3 way pot, but I'm still a little shy of starting stack.

4:36 - Ok first break. I'm down to 4431, average stack is 5094, not a whole of lot of action. It's been pretty boring. One of my friends is in the top 100 so hopefully he keeps going. This looks like it might be an all night thing to go deep. Also, right now is an easy time to pimp out my new project. A couple of friends and I have started a baseball blog, something we hope to update daily. It's over at The Daily Balk. We;re off to a good start so far, so check it out.

4:59 - I river a straight to get up from 3100 to 4500 and then lose it to someone else when I miss a huge draw and three pair's no good. 3500, 120/240/24, average 5341.

5:15 - First big hand of the day. I decided to go prospecting for spades when I start with Q48s, two people come along. By sixth I had a nice 8 low, a gut shot wheel draw, and a Queen high spade draw. The 3 of spades was what I needed to make good on both of those, and that is what I got. I picked the bingo card right out of the deck, just below average now.

5:30 - Won a couple thousand more in chips when I made Aces up and 65 low. I'm at 6209, just above average.

5:40 - Second break, 5549, average is 6711. 1311st out of 2290 remaining. I sat out a little while and hung out with a friend downstairs.

6 PM - A seven high straight is good enough to scoop an 8k pot and I'm up to just over 9000, in the top third of the field.

6:05 - Up to 11k now, when a pair of fives and a 76 low is good enough to scoop. But I fall to back to 7300 when my starting hand of A253d fails to produce ANYTHING.

6:34 - A wheel on sixth gives me a 9k scoop at an important time, only got 10k in my stack, 2k under the average. 1316 left, 520 get paid. That might be a couple hours away yet.

6:48 - Third break, and I'm still hanging around. Average is 14792 and I'm a little below that with 10769. 624th of 1035 remaining. Stats so far:
During current Stud H/L session you were dealt 193 hands and:
 - saw fourth street 42 times (21%)
 - saw fifth street 34 times (17%)
 - saw sixth street 30 times (15%)
 - reached showdown 23 times (11%)
 Pots won at showdown - 17 of 23 (73%)
 Pots won without showdown - 2
I think I'm doing pretty good, although it seems like I'm folding even more than that pre-4th street. Just gotta stay focused, and keep playing smart.

7:12 - Struggling to stay alive.  Under 5k stack, limits are 1k/2k/200, so I need to find some cards fast.

7:16 - Out in 792nd. Find hidden jacks, guy calls me with three hearts King high. He makes the Ace-hi straight and I never improve.

When I get the money in ahead, I get sucked out on.
When I'm in behind, I can't suck out.
I'm getting worse and everybody else is getting better.
I'm basically giving away money.
I'm not looking for sympathy; I just give up.

I owe some people some things...

... only posts thankfully. I promise I will do a couple of writeup for some people. I owe OhCaptain a nice writeup of his super fun homegames and if I don't take of that soon, I may not get invited back. And I need to do a nice little writeup of Corn-Vegas activities this past weekend as well. I promise I will get to it shortly, but I have tests every day the rest of the week and some other drama to deal with, and spring break the week after. So it looks like it might be spring break before it gets done. Stay tuned.

Corn Vegas!

Stolen From BDR

 

Join us this Wednesday for the largest blogger gathering ever to hit the mediocre state of Iowa!  Corn Vegas!  International superstar Joanada will be flying all the way in from Canada for the festivities.  Iowa bloggers Numbbono and Jimdniacc will also be making the trek to join us in the newly redesigned BDR studio for the broadcast.
So while you're playing The Mookie tune into the radio or video broadcast to be a part of history.